Broken web

What would you do if a place you used to call home doesn't feel like home anymore?
What would you do if you suddenly didn't recognize the people you used to know?
What if everything that once familiar to you became unfamiliar?

Would you stay and hold on to the sheer memories and fruitless hope?
Or you walk away, hoping by doing so you keep your sanity?

People are hold on to what's familiar for them like a spider hold on to the web they created. it eight feets recognize every part of it without even have to look at it. but imagine one day someone destroyed the web, and leave the spider in confuse. frozen in whatever left from it web, dont know wether it shoud weave it one more time or leave it and start a new one...

And now I feel like a spider in broken web, still cannot decide what to do when my house is just a house and not a home anymore...

Ghost of the past

How many times in life that you think you have passed some difficult moment, you finished it, and move on, live your life, only to realize that those moment never leave you. It just stays in the corner, waiting your weakness and attacks you with full strength.

They say it okay to fear, they say it okay to afraid, but don’t let it blocking you away. How easy to say that, but to experience it is a whole different thing. How to make a closure? Should I wave all the things and letting those ghost walk freely?

What going to happen if I do so? Will it be better? Or I just make things worse?

It been years, and I thought I’ve finished with it. I thought I’d get over it and live my life just they way I wanted to be. But then one day it came back, all of it: the fear, the pain, the sacrifice, the feeling, the betrayal, fresh in minds as if it just yesterday. What am I doing all these years? Only building my own wall, creating web of reasons to protect myself in order to prevent me to experience those moment anymore. Without realizing that I might hurt other in the process.

I thought I’ve already get over it, but I guess I just shoved it away because I don’t want to deal with it anymore. But I didn’t realise that by that I’m letting the ghost of it haunting me… shadowing every steps I take and decision I make.

I just hope I will be able to get rid this ghost of my past once and for all, for the sake of my life…