One day I sat alone in my living room and thinking about things that recently happen in my life.
Many changes occur during the past month, people that I care making decision without my consent, people that I need to ask their approval before deciding something important. I feel useless, meaningless, and powerless upon things that happened.
Who are they and what they do to them? Please bring back the real them that I know, the rational and logical people as they used to be. The people that make me believe the real thing, people that make me believe in my own judgment based upon fairness and reality. Now they demand me to be what they want me to be, demand me to understand, but how? We all talk different things right now, care upon different things now.
Am I being left behind while all of them are moving and changing? Then why I feel like they’re chasing ghost?
Oh, how I wish to be careless, to be ignorant, to shut my eyes and ears and live my own clamshell world. To be selfish and walk away, leaving all this only to be dealt by the weekend. But I can’t…
I just can’t.
And here I am hold on to things that was real, as a shade of memory and fruitless hope of good things that may come if I stay a bit longer.
“To see the world as so conniving, you cannot take pleasure in the
appareance of something good... because you suspect...
it is only a painted drop behind which other troubles lie.”
Madeline Bray (Nicholas Nickelby by Charles Dickens)
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